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  #1  
Stary 10-10-2016, 11:43
Lallashuari Lallashuari jest offline
Kumotr
 
Zarejestrowany: Sep 2016
Posty: 10
Domyślnie Angielskie dowcipy

Znacie jakieś fajne przykłady dowcipów w języku ang?

Can a kangaroo jump higher than a house? Of course, a house doesn’t jump at all.
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A man asks a farmer near a field, “Sorry sir, would you mind if I crossed your field instead of going around it? You see, I have to catch the 4:23 train.”

The farmer says, “Sure, go right ahead. And if my bull sees you, you’ll even catch the 4:11 one.”
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Anton, do you think I’m a bad mother?

My name is Paul.

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What is the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman?
-
Snowballs.

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How can you tell you have a really bad case of acne?

It’s when the blind try to read your face.
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  #2  
Stary 10-10-2016, 17:35
Maawi Maawi jest offline
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Domyślnie

Bardzo znany (i okropny) żarcik, który opowiadam przy nauce liczb:

- Why is six afraid of seven?
- Because seven egiht nine.
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  #3  
Stary 10-15-2016, 20:07
agebka agebka jest offline
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When my wife starts to sing I always go out and do some garden work so our neighbors can see there's no domestic violence going on.
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  #4  
Stary 10-16-2016, 01:51
michalik michalik jest offline
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Why did the Mexican take Xanax?
For hispanic attacks.


A biologist, a chemist and a statistician are out hunting. The biologist shoots at a deer and misses 5th to the left. The chemist takes a shot and misses 5th to the right. The statistician yells "We got 'em!"



Nature abhors a vacuum, but not as much as a cat does.
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  #5  
Stary 11-17-2016, 17:29
agebka agebka jest offline
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Little Johnny was sent back to bed for the tenth time that evening and his mommy is not amused. She says, “Johnny, if I hear one more time ‘Mommy, I want this, mommy, I want that’, you will be in big trouble! I don’t want to hear the word mommy again tonight. Now off to bed you go!” There’s a short pause, after which Johnny says hesitantly, “Mrs Lambden, I want a glass of water, please.”
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  #6  
Stary 11-18-2016, 09:58
maugolena maugolena jest offline
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Beauty comes from within. From within bottles, jars, tubes, compacts...
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  #7  
Stary 11-19-2016, 12:13
Gabriela11 Gabriela11 jest offline
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Wife arrives home late at night from a business trip and quietly opens the door to her bedroom. But she notices four legs instead of two peeking from under the blanket! Seized by a fit of rage, she reaches for the baseball bat and starts hitting the blanket until the screaming stops. Still in shock, she lurches to the kitchen to have a drink. As she enters, she sees her husband there, reading a magazine. "Oh welcome home darling," he says, "my parents came for a visit, so I let them have our bedroom. I hope you said hello."
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  #8  
Stary 11-20-2016, 14:00
patswider93 patswider93 jest offline
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Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He's all right now.

I wasn't originally going to get a brain transplant, but then I changed my mind

I used to be a banker but I lost interest.

A prisoner's favorite punctuation mark is the period. It marks the end of his sentence.
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  #9  
Stary 11-20-2016, 14:57
mkkm mkkm jest offline
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How did Harry Potter go down a hill?

Walking.

jk, rowling.
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  #10  
Stary 11-20-2016, 22:04
justynawiejak justynawiejak jest offline
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What is the difference between students and teachers?
- Students don't know, teachers don't care.
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